So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
