there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
