escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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