Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
