How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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