Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
