so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
