I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize