Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
