haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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