a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
