I think this baby is eyeing my beer
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
