Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
