There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
