I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
