I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
FUCK WHALES
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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