Do you still have your period?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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