i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
