I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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