Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
