yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Houston, we have a blender
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
