i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
