Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
