what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
