i think i have herpe
just one?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
