I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
