i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think people are normalizing furries
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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