Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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