I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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