You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
