Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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