Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
