"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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