Non-Jews are for practice
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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