He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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