we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize