I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My vagina is officially offended.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
