i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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