Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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