I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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