Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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