How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
