I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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