found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
