i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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