I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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