so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
its not stalking. its research.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
