Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
