i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize