I wanna bring you to show and tell
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
