please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
