I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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