I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm just crazy horny about you
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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