I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
