There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
