didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
