Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
