I wish I only lived at night.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
