Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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