If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize