It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
