I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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