my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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