Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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