you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
