It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
