Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
