I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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