They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
